dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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