since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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