You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize