During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize