Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize