Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
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swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
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he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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