So drunk its hurt
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize