I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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