Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize