grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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