I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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