i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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