Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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