you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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