dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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