Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize