I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
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He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
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Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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