weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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