Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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