last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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