Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
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Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
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The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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