last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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