Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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