Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
We smell like vodka and hangover
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