Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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