apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
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