The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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