i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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