I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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