He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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