i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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