we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize