what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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