how can u be prego again
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
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If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
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Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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