i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
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The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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