The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize