I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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