I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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