can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize