I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize