I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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