I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize