We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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