I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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