He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
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You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
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He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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