She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
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Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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