A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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