I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize