adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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