I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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